Birthdays

Well I missed posting yesterday, but that was only because I was celebrating my best friends birthday with her until late at night. We had a great time. The day started early and behind schedule, but ended with a BBQ with family and friends.

Birthdays for me are milestones. Each year they come, no matter what you try to do to stop it. They come at the same time each year with exactly one year between those milestones. Everyone has milestones in their lives, but for me birthdays are the biggest. Holidays can pass, family members birthdays can pass and even friends birthdays can pass without stopping and reflecting on my own life, because it isn't about me. But when it comes to my birthday...its time to pull out the memories of the last year and see where I am at.

For the past several years, it seems that my birthday has always come with dread. I'm another year older. I'm not any further in my writing career, or making anymore money with my business. I'm still in debt. My kids are growing up too fast. And many more I don't need to list. It's depressing, especially the year older part. Blah!

But this year was different. I still turned another year older, but I wasn't depressed. Yes all those things above are about the same, in fact in a few days I will have my oldest daughter graduating from high school. Wow! And then she will be going off to college. I will miss her a lot. I love our relationship. So if nothing else, another year older meant more depressing things happening in my life.

But I feel different. There is one thing that is different in my life. Instead of being in the exact same place, year after year, I feel like I have taken a step forward. It's not a huge step and unfortunately it comes with some sorrows, but it's forward. And isn't that the point. Who wants to go backwards.

So I think from now on I will have a different perspective when it comes to birthdays. I don't have to be rich, or even sell a million copies of my book, as long as I am taking at least one step forward. That will make me happy.

So, to my best friend Alane, Happy Birthday! Keep taking those steps and moving foward. Day by day, step by step, happiness will come!

Check Up

So...last night I signed off to clean up the area by my desk, which leads to my closet. And the day before I was talking about doing something that I like doing and that meant writing in my blog everyday.

I cleared out the area right in front of my closet. I still can't shut the closet door, but that is because I have a stack of research sitting in front of it. But you can't imagine how good I felt after taking 10 minutes to clear out that area of clutter by my closet. I felt relaxed. I felt good. I decided that the next thing I am going to tackle is my headboard. I read mostly off of my nook now, so all the books on my headboard don't need to be there. I can't wait to clean that area.

Tonight, after a long day, I was sitting on my bed going through magazines that had been sitting on my desk. I was looking for recipes for grilling and came across a page that talked about blogs. That's when it hit me...I hadn't written in my blog tonight. So it didn't matter that I had just turned off my computer, I knew that I needed to write in my blog.

I decided it was a good time to check in. It's been two days...am I happier? Obviously it is too early to answer that questions, but I have had a few good days. My closet only took me 10 minutes and writing each night takes less than 10 minutes, overall I feel better with those small steps.

I think I'm moving in the right direction. It may be little steps, but isn't that how most things start? Isn't that how habits are formed? So I think if I can continue to do these little things...cleaning up an area each night, writing in my blog, then I am making progress. I will feel better about life. And I will be happier.

Clutter

So I was thinking about things that prevent me from writing and CLUTTER is one of those things. I have clutter everywhere I look. There is clutter on my desk, although that is cleaned off regularly because I need the space to write. I have clutter by the side of my desk that spills out from the closet. In fact, I usually try to shut the closet to keep the clutter in, until it gets to the point that I can't even shut the door. Speaking of closet, it's full of things I don't wear, don't use, but feel I have to keep. Adding to the cluttering mess.

Are you one of those people that has a list of things you NEED to do before you can do the things you WANT to do? Unfortunately for me, that's why writing always gets pushed to the back burner. Because I have a list of things I NEED to do and it usually takes me so long, that by the time I've done those, the day is over and I have to start again tomorrow.

I'm going to refer to "The Happiness Project" for a few days, at least until I finish reading it. Clutter comes up in her book very early and mentioned several times. Clutter is distracting. It's meant to side track me from the tasks that I really need to accomplish. So when it comes down to it, clutter is the reason why I procrastinate.

So what's the solution? Well, when it comes to writing, the solution is to clean up my writing area so when I sit down to write, I'm not side tracked by anything but writing.

My writing desk is in my bedroom. I'm surrounded by things that I love. Pictures of family and friends, knick knacks, accomplishments and a lot of relaxing things like pictures of the ocean and dolphins. I set it up this way so that when I sit down to write, I could relax. But with the clutter around, I am easily side tracked.

So step one - clean up the clutter! Sounds easy...maybe. The reality is that I have way too much stuff and its time to downsize. Holding on to things could be a whole other subject, but for now, I'm going to sign off and look at what I can get rid of.

Wish me luck!

Creativity & Happiness

So I haven't written for a while and I got to thinking that maybe I didn't have anything to say, so why write? But last night as I was reading "The Happiness Project," I realized that this blog is more for me than anything else.

I was thinking about things that inspire me, or get my creative mind going. Needless to say, TV, movies and books inspire me. I'm not trying to steal idea's from these things, but there are different aspects of each of these that get my creative mind going.

So I'm reading "The Happiness Project" and I realize my creativity is based on happiness. When times are tough, I am stressed, I don't get a lot of sleep or I worry about money and my creativity is almost nonexsistent. When there is no creativity going on, I get frustrated and my writing suffers. So I started thinking about why the creativity goes up and down and realized it is all related to Happiness.

When I'm writing, I'm happy.
When I'm paying bills, I'm not happy.
When I'm using my imagination, I'm happy.
When I am tired and didn't sleep well, I'm not happy.

So what it comes down to, is that I can't control the unexpected, stressful things, but I can focus on the things that make me happy.

When I was reading the book the other night, there was one part where she said to look back at the things I liked as a kid, when life was really fun. Telling stories and using my imagination is what I spent most of my childhood doing. My mom can probably attest to the fact that she was a worried sometimes when I would rather have played by myself then go to a friends house. And several of my friends can probably attest to the weird games that I made them play on the trampoline that were part of my imagination. But I was happy.

I guess the point of this post is just to say, I am happy when I am creative. I like writing, it brings out my creativity. It lets my mind wander back to those fun, innocent times that I enjoyed. So needless to say, I am going to write on this blog at least five times a week, because it's what I like to do. The real problem may be finding things to write about.

So until next time...